It's one of those days I feel dry and bereft of anything worthwhile to say. It's the Seventh Sunday of Easter and Mother's Day. I haven't been to church in years and my mother died in 1984. In today's gospel (John 17:20-26), Jesus prays for unity. Unity among the disciples, unity with Him and with the Father " As you, Father, are in me and I am in you, may they also be in us...". If I'm honest, I'm not feeling particularly united to anything or anyone at the moment. I guess I'm in a spiritual "dry spell". Mother Theresa wrote that after the intense spiritual experience that inspired her to leave her comfortable convent and work among the poor and dying of Calcutta, she didn't have another experience of God's presence for over 30 years. I'm hoping for a shorter time of dryness; heaven knows I'm not as strong as Mother Theresa.
I'm not of the "God is testing your faith" school of spirituality. It seems to me One who loves us would not "test" us with adversity or emptiness. Perhaps I've made the wrong choices, or more likely chosen not to act when to do so was in my best interest. Fear still owns far too much real estate in my life. I've prayed for strength and grace to get me through this light deprived period, but it feels as though none has been given. Lately, I've been so "dry" I can't even pray.
I'm tempted to end this post with the standard "I know things will get better" hopeful lingo, but I don't know that I believe it will. Perhaps I need to see this as my new "norm" and learn to get on with it.
A sincere wish for a Happy Mother's Day to all the amazing women who bring life to the world. A sincere wish that those with less than happy memories on this much hyped holiday will be extra good to themselves. Who says we can't "mother" ourselves?
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